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Originally Posted by Astraad
I loved it! You write so vividly, the story really comes alive.
Can I make one tiny suggestion though? Obviously, feel free to ignore it (I'm no writer, and it's your tale anyway), but I noticed that Dion used the exclamation "Geez". I just wondered if maybe you would want to change that to something more relevant to their culture than ours, since that word has Christian connotations.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
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Of course you can! I enjoy and encourage everyone to critique/comment about anything they see fit to comment about.
In my opinion, there's never a stupid question asked or a critique taken/given wrong. It helps in it's own way.
I honestly didn't know that "Geez" was a Christian connotation! But now that I think of it, you're right.
I had only really thought at a "pre-teen" level... though I think i'll have to think of a different expression language..
Thanks for the feedback! It was greatly appreciated!