Ohmigod, you are going to stop there??? I might have to track you down!
Seriously - excellent opening, great description and compelling reading. I do hope you finish what you started. I really do want to know about this hunter and also why she picked Vincent to share the table with.
... Were they making this ale out of cotton?? This line is priceless. I am a big fan of writers who use all the senses to describe their story in such a way that the readers lives in it. You have a very happy knack of doing that...using sound, smell, feel, as well as sight, to flesh out your story.
A couple of things that I wanted to point out - only happened in the first part but they were unintentionally funny. Here is one of them:
The bar was filled with a variety of people, mostly rowdy warriors just returning from battle with bellies full of too much ale and farmers tired after a hard day at work. - I would think with bellies full of farmers, there wouldn't be any room for the ale at all.
- this is a misplaced modifier and would really benefit with some well-placed commas. For more info on this (and every writer does it, especially when they are in the thrall of their Muse and writing fast), try Raya's Dungeon
here
I look forward to your next instalment. I see this was written last fall and updated in December. I do hope the lack of response hasn't discouraged you. I just didn't get around to reading it until now. Your talent in this tale is very evident.
MORE! MORE!