Just kind of spitballing here mostly iskiab. Tryin to help you find a solution to the problem. So please don't take offense in any way...just offering suggestions is all.
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It would make sense that armor would be worth upgrading, but that isn't the case atm.
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I have to disagree. Mostly in part because I too have seen the outcome of yellow and orange crafting gear. When you take a regular blue player made item and add a rare ore to it it makes it yellow. It raises the AC and any of the stats on it. Lets say your blue bp might have had 300 ac 10 str 10 con. Putting a rare on it yields 315AC 12str 12con..or more. If you have lets say 8 pieces of player made gear and they all get equiped with rares (which is mostly what my gear is, tier 4 rare) it adds up quite substantially. Lets say rare ore gives it 3 more str/con or dex. multiply that by 8 times and you have a significant increase in your stats. And I know you switched around your stats and couldn't tell a difference, but in most every case It is too hard to tell unless you see the raw numbers. Makes very little difference not really noticeable by the naked eye. Add in 3 or 4 variables like this and it could majorly effect the way a person can tank.
Being a smither you shouldn't have a problem making your own gear and upkeeping it...the smither I go to charges next to nothing to do gear if you provide the materials and he is over 1pp now.
I have to say I have aggro problems as well. Right now It is bad. But most of the time after you add a healer, crowd control, and your tank, there isn't a lot of room for aggro hogs. So as long as you can keep the healers and crowd control at bay you can use withdraw on the major aggro classes such as bards, and rangers and the likes. Im definately not going to tell you I don't have aggro problems because I most definately do. But they seem minimal to the issues you are having.
The only time I have trouble and can't keep aggro for the most part is when another tank, be it a war pally or DK in the group is present and thinking they need to be tanking. You said you were using a 35 dps hammer...is that 1h or 2h? Not real sure what you mean by MoP gear either. Hope anything in here offers up a solution...they definately need to fix this aggro thing. And I hope with next patch they do.